


Apples

by miss_aphelion



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:39:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_aphelion/pseuds/miss_aphelion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is trying to make sense of the scare tactics of werewolves. Scott is just trying to make sense of Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apples

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this weird little mini-fic is actually the first thing I wrote in this fandom. I did it as a kind of exercise to try and get in Stiles' head, and I stumbled upon it again when I was trying to motivate myself to write the next chapter of Pack Wars. I thought I would share, just in case anyone else was wondering what was with them apples.

"Stiles," Scott says brightly, as he rushes into his friend's room. "Hey, did you—" 

"I am surrounded by lunatics, and it's all your fault!" Stiles greets him. 

"Huh?" Scott says. 

"Seriously, it's like my life revolves around werewolves. It's like I'm Giles all the sudden," Stiles says, hardly acknowledging Scott's half-formed expression of confusion. "And I get it, all of it, I suck it up and move along. But there is just one thing that I cannot understand, and that is why do they keep eating apples?"

"Huh?" Scott asks again. 

"People keep eating apples whilst trying to instill fear—first Jackson, then Erica. I mean, what even is that? Was everyone in our class irrevocably scarred by that viewing of Disney's _Snow White_ in second grade? Cause apples aren't scary, and gorgeous people eating apples, I mean, that's not even somewhat unnerving—it's like they're all auditioning for PSAs. Eat five helpings of fruit a day!" 

"Um," Scott says. 

"And Derek? What is with Derek freaking Hale, am I right? You'd think he'd be more Jacob than Edward Cullen, but what with the window stalking and the creepy creeping and the pale complexion the comparison is a little hard to avoid."

"Sti—" 

"And the guilt! He practically radiates soul-sucking guilt, he's a black hole of repressed angst and regret. I don't even think he's physically capable of smiling anymore, it's like his facial muscles have gotten stuck—"

"Stiles—" 

"It's lucky he's pretty, or else there would be a lot more people reporting him for suspicious loitering. It's like he's got it down to an art form, he should write a book. The Art of the Lurk. It would probably sell, as chicks seem to dig that since Twilight. Also, note to self, stop referencing Twilight, as it kind of gives away that I've read it."

Scott grabs Stiles and gives him a shake. "Stiles! Oh my god, _stop talking._ Just how much Adderall have you had?" 

"Twilight!" Stiles says, eyes going wide. 

"I thought you were going to cut it out with the Twilight?" Scott asks warily.

"No, no, I am, but the apple on the cover—could that be the root of this?" Stiles mutters to himself. "Has Twilight turned apples evil? Or mysterious, at least? Cause why is there even an apple on the cover anyway, unless it's a biblical reference, but really Meyers is hardly Shakespeare and there didn't seem to be any coherent underlying theme aside from the obvious loss of innocence at being turned—" 

His eyes go wide again, and he pulls away from Scott's grip. "Wait, does that mean that it's biblical? Garden of Eden, Tree of Knowledge, using Knowledge as fear…it makes sense, but I didn't think Jackson was capable of such subtlety. But then he _is_ a snake." 

"Lizard," Scott says helpfully. 

Stiles pauses in confusion, glancing up at him. "What? No, I meant—okay, whatever, he's a lizard." 

"Why are you obsessing about apples again?" Scott asks. 

"Derek was eating an apple for lunch," Stiles admits. "He was doing it in a threatening manner. It was weird." 

Scott eyes him with pity. "You need to get out more." 

Stiles face-plants onto his desk. "I know. Believe me, I know."


End file.
